Daveslist #1: Iron Man, Harambe, & Walmart Drones

Here's Issue #1 of Daveslist. You better not delete it, it's a collectors item.Let's get it on...
Daveslist #1: Iron Man, Harambe, & Walmart Drones
By Daveslist • Issue #1
Here’s Issue #1 of Daveslist. You better not delete it, it’s a collectors item.
Let’s get it on…

Seriously, kid. Piss off.
Seriously, kid. Piss off.
Elon Musk believes we are probably characters in some advanced civilization's video game
This week was the 2016 Code Conference and it left me with three burning questions, only two of which Elon Musk had the answers for:
  • Are we living in a computer simulation?
  • If we are, what are the implications of that?
  • Does Kara Swisher hate her job even more than I hate mine? Seriously. She is so over it she doesn’t even make an attempt to hide it.
Elon’s entire talk was one of the highlights of the conference, but it was this question from the audience that really brought down the house. It’s clearly something he’s thought a lot about, and by his logic “…the odds that we’re in base reality is one in billions.” 
Let that sink in for a minute.
DOD continues quest to make “Iron Man” exosuit for special ops
Speaking of Iron Man, it appears that the DoD is dead set on making combat exoskeletons a thing. What they’ve done so far is pretty impressive, from Lockheed-Martin’s HULC to the nascent TALOS project, pictured here. 
What I can’t help wondering, though, is how much longer are we really going to have human assets on the battlefield? Clearly drone warfare is where things are headed (not just aerial drones, but drone tanks, drone ships, etc…). 
Did Cincinnati Zoo really have to kill a rare gorilla?
I couldn’t very well have sent this out without including the “big” story of the week. In an early bid for Mother Of The Year, some lady let her four-year-old climb into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo. 17-year-old silverback gorilla Harambe went…well…apeshit on the kid, and the good folks who run the zoo went HAM on his primate ass with a high-powered rifle.
I gotta say I’m with PETA on this one. Why on Earth do we still have zoos? Absolutely disgusting. In an age when you can sit on the couch and watch Discovery, NatGeo, and Animal Planet in ultra high def on a 75" screen, what the hell are you doing at the zoo? And if you think polar bears are perfectly happy living in San Diego, you’re a moron.
The Girl Who Ran Away to Fight ISIS
Now on to some animals I’m all in favor of dispatching with high powered rifles. 
Joanna Palani is a serious badass. She dropped out of college at 22 to fight ISIS, and has spent the past two years stacking bodies in Syria and Iraq. 
She’s not American, but this story reminded me of the old Abraham Lincoln Brigade during the Spanish Civil War, where regular everyday Americans joined the fight against fascism by entering Spain through Canada. Today they’d no doubt be labeled terrorists.
Google aims to kill passwords by the end of this year
Google never ceases to amaze me. How awesome would it be to never have to remember another password? Google says they can create a login combination 10 times more secure than a fingerprint scan just by using the outline of your misshapen skull, the sound of your alcohol-slurred voice, and the jerky motions of your spastic body throughout the day.
I’m so in.
Walmart is developing a drone
Walmart could perform a real public service by developing a drone to fly around stores plucking the Little Debbie snacks out of their average customer’s cart. But that’s not what they’re doing.
No, Walmart is going another route and developing drones to replace warehouse workers. They say the drones can finish a month’s worth of inventory control work in a day. They also say the workers who are replaced by drones will be reassigned other jobs at Walmart. 
Because everyone knows Walmart is all about their employees.
Louisiana Refuses to Budget for Public Defenders
This ongoing travesty is one of the principal reasons New Orleans is so dangerous. Louisiana has the highest incarceration rate in the entire country. And the people who run this state are just fine with that.
The Orleans Public Defenders office is so desperate for money that they have a PayPal button for donations on their website. I’m not even kidding. One of our fundamental Constitutional rights is now dependent on PayPal donations. 
Louisiana needs to pull its head out of its ass, and it needs to start in New Orleans.
Why Are We Still Teaching Kids Cursive?
This one is a real pet peeve of mine. Cursive handwriting can be a beautiful, artistic form of expression, but it no longer has a place in the classroom. The United States education system is ranked #14 in the world behind Russia, and we’re gonna worry about loopy letters on paper
Negligible utility in the modern world and it’s taking valuable time and resources away from useful skills kids could be learning. Just stop it already.
Pilot flew continuously for 10 hours in Persian Gulf battle
What a great surprise to see an article about my old skipper and some of our Gulf War exploits this week. I’m not going to pretend it’s a good memory, but it does lend a certain perspective in life. 
We managed to put our crew back together last year for a 25-year reunion, and the old man got so wrecked I had to pour him into a cab for his 17-hour flight back to Riyadh. 
He’s still a beast.
The skipper and I gettin' turnt last year |    A suspected gas attack back in the day
The skipper and I gettin' turnt last year | A suspected gas attack back in the day
That's it for this week!
Hit REPLY and let me know what you thought about this first issue. I’d love to hear your thoughts on some of the links as well. Also, feel free to forward this to anyone else you think might enjoy it.
Have a great weekend, and I’ll see you next Friday!
Did you enjoy this issue?
The 10 best stories you probably missed, delivered to your inbox every Saturday morning.
Carefully curated by Daveslist with Revue. If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here. If you don't want these updates anymore, please unsubscribe here.